The Last 5 Steps
by Marchingbandchica24
Summary: A parody of one of my favorite musicals, The Last 5 Years. The songs in the musical are out of order, so it's pretty much every other song is moving backwards in time. I hope you enjoy it! I'll try to update it when I can.
1. Still Playing

Lowdown of characters and plot: Mary is a senior girl who has just completed her last year at band camp. This year at camp, she has finally begun a relationship with Alex, the drumline section leader. Ally is one of Mary's best friends, and is the section leader of the trumpets.

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**(Mary, reliving memories of band camp)**  
Band camp is over, and band camp is done.  
So many say that it's time to move on.  
I try so damn hard to simply move on.  
But I'm still playing.

24 steps to the 30-yard-line.  
32 more to the 50-yard-line.  
I fine'ly learned all these steps that are mine.  
And I'm still playing.

**(Quoting Alex)**  
"You were all mine, drumline.  
I was the greatest section leader, too.  
Goodbye to you, drumline,  
goodbye to you."

Mellophones there, for the 50th time.  
Sousas were there to form their little line.  
Clarinets played way too messy and high.  
And I'm still playing.

Go and hide and run away.  
Run away, run and find something "better."  
Go and laugh the sum away,  
Run away like it's simple,  
Like it's right…

**(Quoting Ally)**  
"Give me a break, trumpets,  
Bring back the focus  
And show me you know how.  
Maybe I'd see how you can be  
So certain that we  
Are the best of all.

Band camp is over, so where can I turn?  
Covered in joy that I never can burn.  
Maybe there's something that others can learn.  
But that wouldn't change the fact,  
That wouldn't speed the time  
Once all of us are back.  
And I'm still playing.


	2. Music Goddess

**(Alex singing about Mary)**  
I'm breaking my father's heart.  
The longer I stand looking at you,  
The more I hear it splinter and crack  
From 60 miles away.

I'm breaking my father's heart.  
He wanted me to play with all  
Those dumb jocks and toss a ball around.  
And my grandfather's rolling,  
Rolling in his grave.

If you wore a short skirt, that wouldn't matter.If you knew a great cheer, they'd think it cool.  
If you came from Spain, or Japan,  
Or the back of a van,  
Or even if you're from a Catholic School.  
They'd say now I'm getting somewhere,  
I'm finally "breaking through.  
But hey, hey, music goddess,  
I've been waiting for someone like you.

I've been waiting through "Jane with the shorts"  
And "Kristin with lice" and "The Baritone Twins."  
I've been waiting through "Flute Anita," "Mello Christie,"  
"Drumline Anna," and "Jen in Pit."  
Rosie Lu and Ally Make and Steph Anderson and Megan Schultz.  
I've had plenty of cheerleaders in my sight  
And every dumb blone in Lewiston High.

But the moment I first met you,  
I could barely catch my breath.  
I've been marching for days,  
With my sticks in my hand,  
Like an idiot scared to death.  
I've been marching across that big field,  
I've been running, I've been hit.  
My people have played "ball" for thousands of years  
And I don't give a shit.

If you lead the cheer squad, that wouldn't matter.  
If you had blonde hair, or you once had a "man."  
If your mother and your brother had relations with each other,  
Just as long as they never mention it as a plan.  
I'd say, "Yea, well, nobody's perfect!"  
It's tragic but it's true.  
I'd say "Hey, hey, music goddess,  
I've been waiting for someone like you.  
Breaking tradition.  
You, playing with light.  
You, you are the song that I should write,  
I have to write!"

If you wore all capris, that wouldn't matter.  
If you liked to giggle, they'd find it cute!  
But you have a powerful connection  
To your music and your rhythm,  
I say "Go 'head and shoot!  
I'm your music slave, at your service,  
Just tell me what you do."

I say "Hey, hey, hey, hey!  
I've been waiting for someone,  
I've been praying for someone,  
I think that I could be in love with someone like you!"


	3. See, I'm Playing

**(Mary on cell with mother)**  
I guess I can't believe you really called,  
And I'm talking to you 'bout camp.  
See, I'm playing,  
And I am enjoying it here.

I love working with my section all day,  
It makes me feel so overjoyed.  
See, we're playing,  
I think we're gonna be great.

I mean, we'll have to try a little harder,  
To be the best I know,  
To make this camp as special  
As it was 3 years ago.  
I mean, I made it to this title,  
Who knows where else I may go.

I think you're really gonna like this show,  
I'm pretty sure it doesn't suck.  
See you're listening, and I'm playing  
At a band camp in Ohio.  
But it's nine…  
Yes, I'm doing fine!

I think we both can see I couldn't be better,  
You simply can't be wrong.  
With all I've had to go through,  
I feel I'm twice as strong.  
And so, we'll play for you this weekend  
And just keep playin' along.  
But I really have to go, yes so soon.  
No we don't have any time.  
Look, whatever, I really have to.  
Yes I have to, so whatever.  
So goodbye, I'll see you Friday night.

**(Hangs up, turns to Ally)**  
You know what makes me crazy,  
I'm sorry, can I say this,  
You know what makes me nuts?  
The fact that she thinks I could be better  
Off doing something else like a sport,  
Like soccer or cheer.

And she spends her time pretending  
To listen to me.  
No, she does.  
Yes, Ally, that's exactly what she does.  
She could just support me,  
And honor my wish,  
As usual, guess what she bitches about!

No, Ally, I shouldn't have to do  
What she wants me to do,  
With those sluts who always think  
They are the best.  
She could simply just smile  
And encourage me through,  
And she could, God forbid,  
Even see my show!

And I know in her soul  
It must drive her crazy  
That I don't run around  
In a cheerleader skirt.  
No, I won't, no I won't  
And that's the point, Ally!  
She just can't spend a single day that's not about

Her, and her  
And nothing but her.  
"Marvelous, fabulous" her!  
Isn't she wonderful, just 38!?  
"The best mom of all moms!"  
Her, and her, and nothing but her!  
Miles and piles of her!  
Pushing through the windows,  
And bursting through walls  
En route to the sky!  
And I…!

I swear to God I'll never understand  
How she can complain all day long  
And see I'm happy,  
And not sing along with my song.


	4. Marching Too Fast

**(Rookies)**  
Did we just run all 5 miles for nothing?  
Did we do pushups just for our sass?  
We never know what tomorrow's brining,  
But we have a singular impression  
We are marching too fast.

**(Vets)**  
We're gliding smooth as some figure skaters!  
** (Rookies)**  
Or so you say about all you vets…  
** (A Vet)**  
You just expected at we're not this great,  
But no, we're better than that,  
And we aren't "marching too fast."

And you say "Oh no, step on the breaks,  
Do whatever it takes to stop this band!  
Slow, slow, the light's turning red."  
But I say, "No, no, whatever we do,  
We barrel on through, and we don't complain.  
No matter what you try, we're flying full speed ahead!"

**(A Rookie)**  
I'm always worried that I'll fall over.  
** (A Vet)**  
Who cares if you fall down on your ass?  
** (A Rookie)**  
But with these drills getting piled together,  
I've got a singular impression  
That we're marching too fast.

**(A Vet)**  
You found a thing you enjoy!  
And you found a section that loves you!  
Things might get bumpy,  
But some people analyze every detail.  
Some people stall when they can't find their spot.  
Some people freeze our of fear  
That they'll fail.  
But you keep marching on.

Some people can't learn their sets without marks.  
Some people never feel love in their heart.  
Some people can't tell some two things apart.  
But you keep marching on.

Oh! Oh!  
Maybe you can't follow through!  
But, oh! Oh!  
What else are you supposed to do?

**(A Rookie)**  
I dreamed of being the section leader.  
But I just don't see how I can get that far.  
** (A Vet)**  
You can make it if you try really hard,  
And even do things you never dreamed of before.

You start by stepping with your left foot first.  
Then follow through with your right one, like so.  
** (A Rookie)**  
I think I might be able to just do it,  
Going faster as I learn to, like so.

I left those jocks, and I don't regret it!  
I'm learning about friendship  
When they didn't give a shit!  
My heart's been stolen,  
My ego's swollen.  
I just keep marching on!

I think, well, well, what else is in store?  
Got all this before it's 4,  
It's hard not to be sure I'm spinning  
Out of control, out of control!

I'm feeling panicked and rushed and hurried!  
I'm feeling out maneuvered and out classes.  
But I'm so happy, I can't get worried  
About this singular impression.  
I got a singular impression  
That we're marching too fast.


	5. A Part of That

**(Mary thinking to herself)**  
One hour, we're just like, Leave it to Beaver.  
One hour, it's just a typical life.  
And then we're off on a trip to Alexland,  
Staring at the big breasts in the drumline.  
Barely even breathing all the while.

Then he'll play, his eyes light up,  
And deep within the ground,  
With just one sound,  
A moment comes to life.  
And I'm a part of that,  
I'm a part of that; I'm a part of that.

Next hour, it's just like it never happened.  
We're learning new sets, we're all alone  
Then he gets on the mule train to Alexland.  
Pages after pages of those huge sets,  
Circling the grass field, logging miles.

And then he smiles, his eyes light up,  
And how can I complain?  
Yes, he's insane,  
But look what he can do!  
And I'm a part of that,  
I'm a part of that; I'm a part of that.

And it's true,  
I tend to never be by him,  
Instead of side-by-side,  
I play my own.  
True, but there's no question  
There's no doubt.  
I said I'd stick it out and follow through.  
And when I do

Then he smiles, and where else can I go?  
I didn't know the rules do not apply

And then he smiles,  
And nothing else makes sense  
While he improvises his solo on his snare.  
And I'm a part of that,  
I'm a part of that; I'm a part of that.  
Aren't I?

I'm a part of that,  
I'm a part of that,  
I'm a part of that.


	6. The Schmuel Song

**(Alex, singing to Mary)**  
First a story; a little music story.  
I call it, "The Story of Schmuel: Musician of Klimovich."  
Schmuel would play 'til half-pas-ten  
in his music shop in Klimovich.  
Get up at dawn and start again  
With the notes and rests and clefs.

41 years had come and gone  
In his music shop in Klimovich.  
Watching the winter soldier on,  
There was one thing Schmuel missed.

"If I only had time," Old Schmuel said,  
"I would write the song that's in my head.  
A song to fire the mad desire  
Of girls from here to Minsk.  
But I have no more hours left to play."  
Then the clock upon the wall  
Began to glow.

And the clock said,  
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, oh Schmuel,  
You'll get to be happy.  
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na,  
I give you unlimited time.  
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na,  
So, Schmuel, go write and be happy"  
But Schmuel said, "No, No, it's not my luck.  
I gotta make do with the time I've got."

Schmuel was done at half-past-ten  
And he said "Goodnight, all Klimovich."  
Put on his coat to go, but then  
The clock cried, "Wait, not yet.  
Even though you're not wise or rich,  
You're the finest man in Klimovich.  
Listen up, Schmuel, write one note,  
And you'll see what you can get."

But Schmuel said, "Clock, it's much too late.  
I'm at peace with life, I accept my fate."  
But the clock said, "Schmuel, one note and you'll  
Unlock the dreams you've lost."

So Schmuel, with reluctance, took his pen.  
He wrote down the first few notes, and he said.  
"I should take out my teeth and go to bed.  
I'm sitting here with talking clocks instead."

And the clock said,"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, oh Schmuel,  
You'll get to be happy.  
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na,  
I give you unlimited time.  
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na,  
Just do it and you can be happy.

So Schmuel dipped his pen and began to write  
And the moon stared down from a starless sky.  
And he wrote the notes, began to relax,  
And he looked and the clock was turning back.  
So he hummed the notes, adding some bass,  
As the hands moved left on the old clock's face.

And his fingers flew, and the music swirled.  
It was 9:15 all around the world.  
Every rest and note was a perfect fit,  
As if God himself were controlling it.  
And Schmuel cried through a rush of tears,  
"Take me back! Take me back all 41 years!"

And on it went down that silent street  
'til Schmuel's dress was at least complete.  
And he stretched his arms and closed his eyes,  
And the morning sun finally started to rise.

And the song he wrote on that endless night  
Was a song that would make any soul take flight.  
Not a line, not a phrase had gone to waste,  
Every measure and repeat ideally placed.  
And written in the lines were 41 seasons of dreams,  
Dreams that you could feel commonly.

And that very piece,  
So the papers swore,  
Was the piece a band  
In Odessa played  
On the day a girl promised forever more  
To love a young man named Schmuel,  
Who only the day before  
Had knocked on her kitchen door.

Plenty had hoped and dreamed and prayed  
But they can't get out of Klimovich.  
If Schmuel had been a cute  
Band geek maid,  
He'd have looked a lot like you.

Maybe it's just that you're afraid  
To go out on to a limbavich.  
Maybe you're heart's completely swayed,  
But you're head can't follow through.

Why shouldn't I want the world to see  
The brilliant girl who inspires me?  
Don't you think that now's a great time to be  
The ambitious geek you are?  
Say goodbye to taking orders from a man,  
Say hello to Mary Keya, loving band.

'Cause I say,  
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Mary,  
You get to be happy.  
Na, na, na, na, na, I give you  
Unlimited time.  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, stop faking,  
And play and be happy.  
You're the section leader of a great section,  
And you're perfect for the big title.  
Take a breath, take a step, take chance!  
Take your time.

Have I mentioned today  
How lucky I am  
To be in love with you?


	7. A Summer at Band Camp

**(Mary, singing to Alex, professing her love for him)**  
I could loudly shout some cheers in squad,  
I could play some baseball with my dog.  
But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer at band camp  
With the instruments blaring, playing music so loudly.

I could take a family trip to eat,  
Or just learn to clean their dirty feet.  
But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer at band camp,  
Where I'm sharing a room with my best friend Ally  
And her flute, James.

I could have an instrument made of pure gold,  
Cures for those who are all old,  
Pills to make a madman smile.  
I could be in line to be in DCI,  
Learn how to fly in the sky.  
Still I'm certain I prefer to be  
Marching quickly, Alex,  
60 miles south of our home Caddy.

I could shove a drumstick in my eye,  
I could drink some piss from last July,  
But it wouldn't be as awful as a summer at band camp  
Without music, hot water, all that home-cooked food  
Or you.

I saw you practicing your drums with all your friends,  
With all your special little twists and all your bends.  
I stole a look at your face that showed so much passion  
And then I couldn't breathe.

Megan, who was with me, got uncharacteristically quiet.  
She said, "He's not that awesome, trust me,  
Really, 'cause we did it."  
So I smile like Mona Lisa,  
And I hug my books so close.

She thinks that she knows what is best for me, really.  
But, I've found my guiding light,  
I tell the stars each night.  
"Look at me, look at him!  
Son of a bitch, I guess I'm doing something right!  
I finally got something right!"

No, it's not Nirvana, but it's on the way.  
I am so happy that we're here today.  
Then I get on my knees and pray  
I can state to my big old gramp,  
I'll always wanna go back to that band camp!

I could play a string bass for a spell,  
I could even pray to go to hell.  
But it wouldn't be as swell as this summer is gonna be!  
'Cause the torture is just exquisite  
While I'm waiting for us to do it!  
So hurry up, schmuck, get unstuck, and get on the scene!  
Love, the music, dear Ally, James the flute, and Miss Mary Keya!  
That's me!


	8. The Next Ten Measures

This song was hard to do. What ends up happening in it is that it starts out being Alex instructing the drumline, sees Mary watching, and works up the courage to go over and confess to her in front of people that he loves her, and the song pretty much takes a turn into not being about music, but about their relationship. Hope you enjoy it!

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**

**(Alex to the drumline)**  
No, that one's Beethoven.  
That one's Weber, there.  
Now to the coda.  
All we have to do is march these blocks.  
Have you memorized your music yet?  
You should, Joe…  
Practice you bassdrum.  
**(Noticing Mary watching)**  
Mary…

**(Goes up to Mary)**  
Will you play along with me,  
For the next ten measures.  
For the next ten measures,  
We can handle that.  
We could play the notes,  
Reaching for the sky.  
And we could do so  
As the time ticks by.  
And if we make it 'til then,  
Can I ask you again  
For another ten?

And if you in turn agree  
To the next ten measures.  
To the next ten measures,  
'til the evening comes,  
then just playin' with you  
might compel me to  
ask you for more.

There are so many lines  
I want to share with you.  
I will never be complete  
Until I do.

**(Mary singing back at Alex)**  
I am not always in time,  
Please don't expect that from me.  
I might be late,  
But if you can just wait,  
I will make it eventually.  
I know it's in my control,  
Not that I'm proud of the fact.  
But anything other than being  
Exactly in time I can do.

I don't know why we must run.  
I don't know why things fall through.  
I don't know how anybody survives  
In this life without someone like you.  
I could practice alone.  
I could say "No" and "Goodbye"  
But why, Alex, why?  
I want you to be mine!  
I want us to be one!  
I want to die knowing I  
Had a long full life  
In your arms.  
That I can do, forever with you.

**(Alex)**  
Will you share your life with me  
For the next ten measures?  
**(Mary)**  
Forever, forever, Alex!  
**(Alex)**  
Familiar summers,  
**(Both)**  
'til the world explodes,  
'til there's no one left  
who has ever known us apart.

**(Alex)**  
There are so many songs I need to write with you…  
**(Mary)**  
There are so many things I need to do with you…  
**(Alex)**  
I will never be complete…  
**(Mary)**  
I will never be alive…  
**(Alex)**  
I will never sing this song until I do…  
**(Mary)**  
I do…  
**(Alex)**  
I do…  
**(Mary)**  
I do…  
**(Both)**  
I do…

**(They kiss, Alex walks back to the drumline, Mary walks back to her section)  
(Mary talking to her section)**  
Yes that's one's a B flat.  
There is the coda.  
Isn't that an F sharp?  
**(Laughs as she looks at Alex)**  
Can we just be any better?


	9. A Miracle Would Happen

**(Alex, thinking to himself)**  
Everyone tells you that the minute that you join band  
Every other person suddenly finds you amazing,  
Well that's not true.  
It only affects the kind of people that you\  
Always wanted to hang with,  
But they wouldn't give you the time or day before  
And now they're banging down your door,  
And falling to their knees.  
At least that's what it feels like  
Because you cannot be with them.  
In fact, you can't even look at them,  
Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes.  
Except you're sitting there practicing your solo,  
And all of a sudden these jocks ask if you wanna play  
And you're like "that's not fair."

And in a perfect world, a miracle would happen  
And all those stupid guys would fly away.  
And it'd be me and my drum,  
And nothing else would matter.  
But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine,  
I mean, I'm happy.  
And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.  
It's not a problem, it's a challenge.  
It's a challenge to resist temptation.

And I gotta say that what exasperates the problem  
Is that I'm at these parties,  
I'm the center of attention,  
I'm the grand fromage.  
And here they come  
"Let's play some football!  
You wanna get a tattoo?"  
And I'm showing them my "sweet skills,"  
I'm just proving that I ultimately suck.  
And there WHOMP! There's laughter.  
Yes they laugh, because they always laugh.  
And there's that really awkward moment  
Where I try to show I wasn't encouraging this,  
Though, of course, I sorta was…  
But I don't wanna looked whipped in front of those hot chicks,  
Which is dumb,  
I shouldn't care what they think  
Since I can't fuck them anyway!

And in a perfect world, a miracle would happen  
And everyone would let me be.  
It'd be me so happy,  
And nothing else would matter.  
But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.  
You know I love it.  
And it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.  
It's what I wanted!  
And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.  
It's not a problem, it's a challenege.  
It's a challenge to resist temptation.

**(Mary, day dreaming about coming home to tell her parents about Alex)**  
When I go home Friday  
I'll wear a sweeter smile  
And hope that for a while it'll stay.  
When I go home Friday  
I won't conceal my face  
I'll banish any trace of gray.  
Soon a love will rise anew  
Even greater than the joy I felt  
Just looking at you.  
And once again,  
I'll be so proud to call you mine  
When finally I go home Friday.

**(Switch back to Alex, who is now talking to his mother on the phone)**  
I'll be home soon, yes, Mom.  
I'm leaning so much more than I just knew before.  
I'll be home soon, mother,  
Please don't give up on me yet.  
I know you're proud of me, Mom,  
Doing things I never got to do before.  
And I'll be there, bright and smiling.  
But our directors keep on calling.  
I'll be there,  
But, got to go,  
Goodbye, Mom!  
I'll be there!

**(Hangs up)**  
And in a perfect world  
A miracle would happen  
And that day would fine'ly be here.  
And she'd respect my plans,  
Playing on forever.  
Things I do going like I planned.  
I'm gonna make it through  
And nothing else will matter.  
I'll be fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm…  
**(Looks at Mary)**  
…fine.  
I love you so, Mary.  
I swear I do…


	10. Trying My Best

**(Mary reliving her college audition the week before she went to camp)  
(Is playing melody on trombone for judges)**  
...** (judge stops her)**  
Okay, thank you  
Thank you so much

I'm trying my best, Daddy  
Trying my best

I'm up every morning at six  
And standing in line  
With two hundred players  
Who are just as talented as me  
Who have already tried to get in

I'm waiting five hours in line  
And watching the men  
Just coming and going  
with smiles that look just like this  
Till my number is finally called

When I walk in the room  
There's a table of men  
Always men - usually old  
Who've been sitting like I have  
And listening all day  
To two hundred horns  
Playing as fast as they can!

I am a good person  
I'm an attractive person  
I am a talented person  
Grant me Grace!

**(Playing piece, thinking all the while)**  
_I should have told them I was sick last week_  
_They're gonna think this is the way I play_  
_Why is the pianist playing so loud?  
Should I play louder?  
I'll play louder  
Maybe I should stop and start over  
I'm gonna stop and start over  
Why is the principle staring at his crotch?  
Why is that man staring at my application?  
Don't stare at my application  
I made up half of my application  
Look at me  
Stop looking at that, look at me  
No, not at my shoes  
Don't look at my shoes  
I hate these fucking shoes  
Why did I pick these shoes?  
Why did I pick this song?  
Why did I pick this career?  
Why does this pianist hate me?  
If I don't get a callback  
I can go to another school, but none are this wonderful  
Not that I want to spend more time looking  
But this is no guarantee  
Since I'm obviously not that amazing, and perhaps a little too loud  
Well, what's it gonna be like if I make it?_  
More playing  
_Why am I working so hard?  
These are the people who accepted that really good French horn guy  
Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck_  
**(Finishing the song) **  
Okay, thank you  
Thank you so much

I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs  
With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs  
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes  
Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues  
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels  
To be trotting along at the genius's heels  
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by  
And I...

When I see that I'm in  
I'll wear a sweeter smile...


End file.
